A Very Belated Letter - The 32nd Flavor

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A Very Belated Letter - The 32nd Flavor
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August 2016
Milkshake Butterfly
Thu, Oct. 25th, 2007 01:59 am
A Very Belated Letter

Dear Santa,

In addition to being late (VISTA), this letter has a lot of babble and was consistently written at the end of the day when I was feeling the effects of lack of sleep. Results may be very odd. In theory, it's not quite as long as it seems because you can skip to the assignment you got matched with, but if you start to flail under the wall of text and just want some general guidelines, hop down to the bottom and don't worry about it.

Now, if you are worrying about it....

I'd be happy with any of my requests, but I admit I have a particular hope that you're writing the first one, and together we will be responsible for filling a lack in my life and maybe even breaking Willis's brain a little. It'll be good for him. He can read the Carebears BDSM as an aperitif and never be entirely the same person again.

If you are not helping me fill that particular void, don't worry: you'll be filling another. For example, why are there only two Harold/Stephen stories in this universe, and why have I never managed to wheedle another one out of apocalypsos even though it's her fault I saw the pairing in the first place? Why am I doomed to forever pine after fic featuring a character nobody writes because he was only in the pilot? And why, when I ran my Agent Pendergast request by the friend who introduced me to the series and asked if she knew of any fics that already fit the bill, did she take on an aspect of such suffering that I wanted to feed her tea and biscuits and tuck her under a protective blanket?

Actually, I know the specific answer to that last one, so it's more of a "Why is the universe such that this must be?" So if you pulled that assignment, you have the chance to make not just me but another person happy immediately! Isn't that exciting and completely not increasing the pressure and I'm not encouraging you to picture two of us looking at you with sad puppy-dog eyes at all. Nope. Not me.

A bit about the individual assignments:


I have a grand tradition of every year forgetting to add a fandom to the nomination list and having to catch it the next time around. Last year, as I was perusing what had been submitted, someone mentioned webcomics and I went, "Goddammit!" (This year, for those who are curious, I meant to submit The Shadow, the best movie ever where the villain wears a fuzzy little hat. REMIND ME OF THIS NEXT YEAR.) Given the story arcs we got this past year, this oversight didn't entirely work out to my disadvantage, although if I'd asked for it last year I would have been satisfyingly ahead of the times. Oh well.

For the record, I deliberately spelled it "hijinx" not "hijinks" when a friend argued "hijinx" sounds more like wacky good times and I found myself agreeing. There's something about that "x" that does it.

That, at any rate, is what I want: wacky good times. I mean, even when Willis writes angst into the comic it always ends in wacky good times. And quite frankly, I love wacky good times, so I'm not objecting.

I like everybody in this comic, so if you want to throw the rest of the cast in there and get them involved in the hijinx, go ahead! Hell, if you're absolutely stymied on Ethan/Mike, give me some of Robin and her lesbian. (You'll have to include Ethan and Mike in there per the roles, but if you take this option a cameo will get you free and clear and with no complaints from me--I would have given you this option in my original request, but I only thought of it last night.)

What more can I say? See the Canon for your cues, Batman jokes and all.


I loved the pilot. I think I mentioned that. Somehow the show just never lived up to that for me; they toned it down, took it in a slightly different direction, made the canvas smaller and the focus less about the incredibly wide range of possibilities and all the madness and wonder that could be involved here. I can understand from an external viewpoint why they did that--when you're doing a weekly show, you've got to reign things in somehow, particularly if you're doing it on SciFi channel's budget--but there's a part of me that loves big shinies that will forever be disappointed, even if sex pollen is canon. So I came down to a sort of "eh" with the show, where I'll watch it and all and even enjoy it sometimes, but it never grabs me like it did in those first two hours.

And if the show never got me like that again, Nathan Stark fell utterly flat. I remember clearly thinking in the first season, "The closest he comes to interesting for me is when he's being crazy for his one true love, the Big Glowy Thing In the Basement." The situation hasn't much improved, but I suspect I might not be giving him entirely a fair shake, because I also really loved his predecessor in the aforementioned pilot. His snark and arrogance worked for me better, probably because Greg Germann was born to play not-entirely-unlikeable jerks. (I watched Ally McBeal for the supporting cast. No, really.) But since he was only in the pilot, finding fic with him is... difficult, especially when most of the fanfic is about the guy who replaced him in the regular series.

So while I'd really, really, really love the pairing I requested, I'll take anything about Warren King happily. It looks like the show is never going to write him back in as they said they might, so I have to look for alternative sources, and isn't that what fandom is for? Think of how happy you'll make me. Think of the completely untouched playing field, ripe with possibilities no one else has even poked. Think of the fact this is the second year I've made this request and I can probably repeat it indefinitely.

Think of the sex pollen.

Agent Pendergast

(Otherwise known as The One With Options.)

I somewhat blame the first part of this request on my mother, who told me the next novel after The Book of the Dead was supposed to feature Corrie. When I found out it didn't, it tipped the scales; I'd had half a notion to ask for a fic like this for a while, but I wasn't really serious about it. But then there was no Corrie, and I really really like Corrie.

Clearly something had to be done.

You, dear Santa, just may be that something.

Constance doesn't actually interest me that much by herself, possibly because she's so very muffled. Corrie, of course, is the complete opposite, so somehow, somewhen my brain went, "Hey, what if you put that together?" and the answer was obviously, "Ooh, shiny!"

I'm not actually entirely sure how that would go, so I realize I'm asking a lot of you, but the advantage is I have very few expectations here, so you've got a lot of playing room.

If you're more interested in writing characters who actually have interacted in the canon, my favorite parts of Still Life with Crows were Corrie and Pendergast's interactions. They even lead me to a peculiar little dilema: I'm interested in the idea of them as a pairing, but whenever I try to picture it the result is like a five-car pileup in my brain. Nothing is going through, all lanes have been closed and the fire department is on its way. But I want to be sold on this pairing, so if you've got an idea, by all means, run with it.

And then there's the third option, kind of a wildcard. I found my slash goggles in the mail a couple years back, but try as I might I just couldn't really see any pairings for Pendergast himself, although I desperately wanted to see him slashed. Why? I don't know. Blame fandom, although it happens to me with some characters. I could do a technical argument for Pendergast/D'Agosta, but I never really saw it--which doesn't mean you couldn't sell me on it, but there would have to be effort. So if you want to run with that option, you're heading out into even more unknown territory than with the first one, and I wish you luck and recommend you take a compass.

I suppose there isn't anything precluding you from writing all three suggestions, except you'd need the dexterity and flexibility of an Olympic gymnist, but if you want to try, I hear the Russian judge is a pushover. *grin*

Top Chef

And lo, cheshireempress spake unto me, and she said, "Oh good, will you be the one asking for Harold/Stephen this year?"

It's only fair. I hooked her on the pairing in the first place.

I really hope you're okay with RPS, because what I said up above about me and my Pendergast Pimper making puppy eyes? For this pairing, picture a whole row of such eyes. We are staring at you. We are soulful. We have cake.

We are willing to resort to petty bribery, here.

This may seem like overkill because if you're reading this section with particular attention you already are probably writing for it, but if you aren't writing it--or even, given the numbers, if you are--maybe I'll get lucky and solicit some other interest. Or, you know, doom some more people to join my sad line of staring puppy-dog eyes. Misery loves company.

What nailed me on this one was the reunion show, and the personalities, interactions, and attitudes displayed there (that was a weirdly different editing than the rest of the series, but then, that was weird in a lot of ways). Everybody was portrayed as liking each other so much more (...well, okay, not everybody) and Stephen in particular got such a different cut, which everything I've read in interviews seems to agree with--that he's kind of an arrogant dweeb, but he's at least trying and the edit of the show played that up to way higher than it was. Also, he looked surprisingly hot in jeans. (Pure shallow, yes, but it was all very, "My god, I hated this guy until now. ...turn around more. Oooh.") And then there was that montage and he and Harold being oddly cute together and apocalypsos making comments for which she is completely unrepentant I'm sure, and I wound up interested in my very first RPS pairing. ("Don't worry," one friend advised me. "It's a reality show, and that doesn't count.")

If that's not your cup of tea--and until now it wasn't mine, so how can I blame you?--I did love all of the mentioned parties interacting, and the giggling, "Oh god we're probably too old for this but it's so much fun" things they sometimes got up to. And if you haven't seen it, I direct your attention to the full Fatass Snackmaster Challenge, in which everybody is adorable, even Tiffani. (And Stephen is wearing those jeans again and Harold almost passes out laughing.)

And now, as I promised....

General Stuff

I like plot; I'm very fond of stories where characters have a relationship evolve around, during, between, in conflict to, or in tandem with on with an ongoing non-relationship plot. I have an embarrassment squick and severe problems with humiliation being played for laughs (a phrase I borrowed from terrie01, because it perfectly describes something I've been trying to for a while), and I can't stand unremitting angst--angst that goes somewhere is different; angst that takes the character to a new place or is eventually redeemed or somehow ends with an "up" feeling works just fine for me (and is sort of important to longer plots). I like humor and banter, and seldom like fics that are trying to be weighty and literary. (Not to the point of absolute exclusion; you just have to hit just the right spot.) I like crossovers and sex pollen, but dislike male crossdressing and genderswap. (Girls crossdressing as guys, on the other hand, is one of the things I most enjoy about PotC.) Writing about substance abuse has the potential to end with me nitpicking the story into the ground, but I'm not very good at science so you can fudge like hell there and I'll never notice. I like clever plots--the kind the characters come up with, not the kind I mentioned already above. I'm good with all ratings, G to NC-17, and am okay with many kinks; I already listed the two most popular ones I can think of that I'm not so fond of. I have a fondness for playing with Christian theology, but if you can apply that to my requests I'm not sure how. (Well, okay, I can sort of see an in on Pendergast, but beyond that I'm lost, so if you can come up with something you'll have the advantage of complete and total surprise.)

And, just in case you got the Top Chef request and it somehow comes up, I can't stand mushrooms.

(If anyone is reading this who isn't my author and can think of something I've neglected, prod me.)

I think as my final note, I'm going to quote something I saw in _marcelo's letter and really liked:
First and foremost, have fun. As far as I'm concerned, the gift of Yuletide is not the fic itself, but the writing of it, the act itself. Besides, a fic written with gusto will be read with gusto, even if it's not something I would have thought of at first.

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